Glenn Beck's new look

Glenn Beck sported a new look today wearing condom gloves and a birth control pill "nose ring" all in an attempt to make a point that birth control will decrease the rates of abortion.

I still can't help but think that there is a deeper and more disturbing meaning beneath his act. While donning his new look, Beck said it was in response to MSNBC host Melissa Harris-Perry's wearing tampon earrings. Harris-Perry wore tampon earrings in response to Texas' misogynistic move to confiscate all feminine hygiene products from protesters during the abortion debate.

Beck proceeded to mock Harris-Perry, stating that she looked like an idiot. Beck responded that if she had been wearing marshmallows on her ears, he might be attracted to her. OK. So, Glenn has a marshmallow fetish? I don't get it. I don't think anyone gets it. Glenn Beck just thinks he is funny. He tells an inside joke about being aroused by marshmallows that no one else gets.

He mockingly remarked that Melissa looked "as credible as I do, and that's saying something because your entire network practically made a living off of mocking me while I was doing pie charts about how our country was going to be destroyed through spending habits and using actual pies. You're wearing tampon earings, darling."  I love how he adds the condescending and sexist "darling" at the end of his spiel. You can hear the rest in the video linked.

Beck was trying to say that he supports birth control because abortion is bad, and birth control decreases abortion rates since it prevents getting preggers and bebehz.

Anyway, Beck and his fellow co-hosts proceeded to mock Harris-Perry's book, Sister Citizen: Shame, Stereotypes and Black Women in America. 

So, that whole segment was about mocking wommenz and being downright misogynist. What else is new?

Not Found In A Textbook Part II: Take Back The Night and Slut-Shaming Frat Boys

Here is the second installment for my "Not Found in a Textbook" series about my experience with the GWS seminar. The second day of the seminar was Saturday, April 27, and was the most important day of the class.

The major theme of the day was "slut shaming," mostly because of the unexpected events that took place during the TBTN march. However, there were other lessons and activities of merit that I took back with me. so begins day two.

The class opened with presentations to stay consistent with the pattern the previous day. The first presentation was about consent, and it coincided with the discussion my group had on day one. The students first defined consent as a sober, ongoing verbal yes. It is important to listen to your partner or whomever you are trying to have sex with. Yes means yes, and no means no. Unless your partner tells you  ahead of time that he/she  would like to have sex while drunk,  it is best to be respectful. The yes must be verbal and ongoing. If at any time either of you do not want sex, you must respect each other's wishes.

Consent is  important in all forms of physical communication and intimacy. That includes BDSM. We see a lot about BDSM floating around out there, and we know it has to do with sex. But what does it actually mean? Here's how the letters are broken down: BD=BONDAGE & DISCIPLINE, DS= DOMINATION &SUBMISSION and SM= SADISM & MASOCHISM. In short, people who enjoy some form of BDSM like being either submissive or dominant, and they enjoy either inflicting pain or having pain inflicted on them in some way. It's a fetish, so they get pleasure from it. How is consent important in BDSM? Obviously, you both should be willing to do it. If you or your partner do not want to be tied up, flogged or choked, that is a wish you both should respect. However, BDSM is more than just violent sex. It's a lifestyle for a lot of people. Consent and safe words are crucial to the pleasure and satisfaction of both parties. So, consent helps to build a more respectful and healthy relationship between the dom and sub. Consent helps build respect and healthier relationships between everyone. Consent can be anything from saying whether or not you want a hug to whether or not you want to have sex.

Let's talk about sex

In case you haven't guessed it, the second presentation was about sex. The group showed a video of a woman talking about the female orgasm which is more complicated than a male's. By more complicated, she meant biologically.

Female sexuality is more politicized than male sexuality.  Women who enjoy sex are labeled sluts while men who are still virgins are shamed by their friends about their lackoof sexual experiences. Men are "conquerors" and must have a lot of sexual conquests under their belts. Women agree told to keep their legs closed. People who have nothing better to do than judge other people's sexuality (conservatives) perpetuate the idea that female sexuality should be trivialized and created into a moral issue. We're sluts because we want the government to pay for the Pill.

On the other end of the spectrum, men are expected to be promiscuous with women, but if women have to keep their legs closer, who are men supposed to have sex with? Isn that a double standard? Why should anyone care about how little or how much sex others have? Society should encourage men and women to be more sex positive and at the same time not pressure anyone to have sex.
The presentation covered the benefits of sex such as preventing cancer, curing headaches and depression, boosting immunity and improving your mood.

The man box 

What does it mean to be a man? The third presentation answered that question by explaining the meaning behind the man box, hegemonic masculinity and how some hip hop songs reinforce those concepts.

It was appropriate to start the discussion with the man box in mind because when characterizing men in society, we not only put them on a box, we end up putting everyone in a box. The patriarchy says men should act this way, and women should act the opposite of men. Men should not express any feeling except for . If a man cried, he is told to "suck it up and stop being a woman." Men need to be strong while women should be weak. It is wrong to be gay because a man who is gay is like a woman.

By creating gender specific behavioral patterns, the patriarchy puts everyone in in a box that we think is natural. When something is natural, we tend not to question why and how it came to exist. If I were to ask you, the reader, to think about how an why men and women are told to act certain ways to fit into specific roles, would you dare to do it? It is not natural for the man box to exist. Gender roles were created as a means for the ruling classes to control people. Who primarily rules the ruling classes? Men, or the patriarchy. If we were to challenge gender roles and live outside of the "box," would there cease to be a box? We won't know unless we try to live outside the roles we are told to fill.

More men should feel comfortable expressing feelings of compassion while being strong, just as women should do the same. Being compassionate does not mean being weak. Men and women both have the potential to be strong individuals and compassionate toward their fellow human beings.

The man box reinforces the principles hegemonic masculinity, which guarantee the dominant social position of men, and the subordinate role of women. Hegemonic masculinity explains how and why men maintain dominant roles over women and other gender identities which are perceived as "feminine."  If the man box is about putting people in a "boxes," then it is safe to conclude that those boxes keeping men and women in their places. Keeping people "happy" and placid helps maintain the hegemony. Men (especially white, upper class men) will have all the power, the higher wages and better opportunities in society. That leaves women, gays, other gender identities and ethnicities on the lower end of the economic ladder.

 Growing up, we see subliminal messages in advertisements, music and cartoons that reinforce gender roles. These messages creep their ways into the cozy corners of our subconsciousness, and when we are confronted with gender roles, we automatically know how we're supposed to behave and act. The musical cartoon titled, "William Wants a Doll" is about questioning and breaking away from masculine stereotypes. The group showed this video to explain how boys are treated if they want "girly toys." The song tells a story about a little boy named William who wants a doll. Confused and baffled, his parents buy him a baseball glove and sign him up to play on a team. Even though William loves and excels at sports, he still wants a doll. His peers mock him. "Why should a boy wanna play with a doll? Dolls are for girls!" His cousin told him not to be a "sissy." So, this is the stigma boys face for wanting to play with any "feminine" toy or partake in activities that are associated with girls. In the end, William's wise grandmother buys him a doll. His father starts to get pissed, but grandma gently explains to him that William will be a good father because of the doll. He will know how to take care of his baby. If William's father were open-minded enough, he would not have needed to be persuaded to let his son have a doll. Any toys are conducive to building a child's imagination. Yet, William's father needed a special reason to let his son have a "girly toy."

Alternative Fashion Show

After the presentations, we broke into groups with our peer educators for  the alternative fashion show.

Each group had either one or two t-shirts to draw and write on. Our group was small, so we had one shirt. We focused on looking at negative and positive things women say about themselves. So, on the front of our shirt, we drew a girl that was smiling and happy with though bubbles containing positive affirmations such as, "I am smart," "I am strong," "Compassionate," "Beautiful," etc. On the back of the shirt was the same girl, but she was sad with messy makeup and hair with negative affirmations such as, "I am fat," "ugly," "stupid," "no good," etc. Another group made t-shirts with male stereotypes of macho men with six pack abs and never cry. For example, the students drew and wrote messages showing that the stereotypes do not apply to all men, and there are plenty of men who want to be dads. One student even said he would like to be a stay-at-home dad, so he could play video games with his kids all day.  Overall, the t-shirts were well-received by the class and, and I learned that a majority of the students were there to learn from each other and the experiences of their peers.

I have learned not to judge a person by his or her appearances. I used to be quick to judge overly muscular, bro-ish looking college males to all be in the same lot. You know, the kind that wander around with vacant looks on their faces that are out for some beer and pussy? There were a few men in the class who looked like stereotypical rapey frat-bros, but they ended up being men who wanted to learn how to be part of a movement that effects us all. I always do my best not to judge someone by the way he/she looks. That is a sad trap to fall into, especially for those of us who wish to be highly enlightened individuals who want to learn from others and spread awareness to others. I hope my mistake in judgement serves as a lesson to others. It is easy to peg people into labels and stereotypes before you get to know them. Our brains are wired to do that. If you wish to become a highly aware individual, it's important to train your brain not to pigeonhole someone as something they are not.

I apologize for being so blunt in my description of those men in the class, but the context depended on my being  forward in order to articulate how certain male stereotypes affected the way I viewed  men. While I do not mean to offend, I do hope I made you as a reader uncomfortable in some way. I want you to think about what makes you uncomfortable rather than pushing it to the back of your mind. One of the things I enjoy the most about being a writer is making readers uncomfortable. As a journalism professor once said to us, the job of a journalist is to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable. There are stereotypes for just about everyone's ethnicity, gender, occupation, country, etc. We never mean to judge people, but it's as I said, we are wired to do so. I challenge any of you readers to write in the comments about your experiences stereotyping others or being stereotyped yourselves. Be as open and as honest as I am. It's great therapy to confront your convictions.


Take Back The Night Rally, Speak Out and Slut Shaming Frat Boys

Finally, Saturday night ended with one of the most memorable nights in my college career. Take Back The Night is an empowering movement for women and men who face violence of all sorts, especially sexual. We watched presentations about consent and rape, listened to slam poetry and   turned off the lights to create anonymity for those who wished to talk about their rape experiences.

The slam poetry was one of my favorite parts of the night. Two women recited poetry about being powerful and embracing ourselves, and our beauty. They conveyed the message that we need to fight the patriarchy that keeps us down with misogynistic views of women.

The speak out was the most inspiring and emotional part of the event. Nothing can compare to sitting in a pitch-black room after dark listening to students relive their rape and sexual assault stories. The room had to be dark to create a safe and anonymous space for survivors to speak.

My peer educator wasn't kidding when she warned us to bring tissues. I could hear a lot of nose blowing and crying in reaction to the stories. My own tears joined the rest. My peer educator passed me a tissue. How did she know I was crying? Was it that obvious? I tried not to be obvious about it, but I just lost myself in one story after another. My vivid imagination conjured up images of what the men and women went through. Nothing could compare to the real thing, of course. No simulation in my mind could compare to their experiences, but it was my way of coping with their pain. I could have stepped out to catch my breath, but that would have been too easy. I wanted to be there for them, whoever they were. While I could not see their faces, their pain and voices were more than enough for me to see them in my mind. They were no longer strangers to me. They became people with voices and lives.

I learned not to assume the people I meet have not been through trauma in their lives. It's important to get to know people in a sympathetic way. Don't rush them to talk too soon about an uncomfortable topic. At the same time, show that you are trustworthy and open to anything they need to talk about. We are all worthy and unique individuals, and should stop trying to prove we are superior to each other.

After an empowering and cathartic experience in the dark ballrooms, we set out to march the streets of Plattsburgh to rally support against gender violence. This is where the fun begins.

We gathered signs and rehearsed empowering slogans to say throughout the march. For those of you wondering how it feels to join hundreds of people to march in solidarity for an important cause, the sensation is beyond something I can put into words. I can start by saying that I felt empowered. Imagine taking to the streets at 10 p.m. with hundreds of students shouting phrases such as, "Two, four, six, eight! No more date rape!" That may appear corny, but you have to be there to feel the power of the students' voices and yours combined.

We were followed by police on their cute little bicycles to make sure we didn't get too unruly.

Passersby cheered us on or honked in support. Some students drinking on their stoops yelled nonsense.

Boys hung their heads out the window of the AXP frat house and yelled misogynistic slurs at us such as, "Sluts! Shut up sluts!"

We all found it disgraceful that boys that may or may not be members of the fraternity were yelling those words at us from the organization's house. Even if they were not members, one of the brothers should have stopped it. Such behavior has stained their reputation. Some of the students had to leave the march because they were so affected by those words.

Despite the slurs yelled at us, I think we should look at all of the support we had from so many other people. At the same time, we should continue fighting against behavior and speech that normalizes street harassment and "slut shaming."

I learned a lot from that event. Street harassment has always bothered me, but we cannot let the words of those few boys deconstruct the confidence we all gained at Take Back the Night.












Recommended readings: My peer educator recommended a book to us on day one, which I forgot to mention. The book is titled, "Yes Means Yes." I have not had a chance to read it yet, but it's on my reading list.


Also, I would like to hear about your experiences stereotyping other people of being stereotyped yourselves in the comments below. Let's be honest, as much as you hate to admit it, you've done it. Most of the time, we never mean to be prejudiced, but our brains just do it before we realize we're judging someone.